For a bit of time after the release of the first book in the series, Adventure Boy and the School People, Adventure Boy was somewhat of a sensation at his elementary school. Kids were excited to see him in the hall and say that they k
new him.
One day, while kids were still more aware of him than usual, he had a huge behavior incident in the lunchroom for everyone to see. He had to be helped from the room by two school staff as he was kicking, screaming, and hiding under a table.
This incident inspired book two in the series, Adventure Boy and the Good Day That Got Away. I wanted to try to help kids understand that Adventure Boy wasn’t being bad. He was overwhelmed by the environment and lost control of himself. This is commonly known as a meltdown by parents of kids with Autism. In this case, the behavior was likely triggered by the noise and movement of the lunchroom. Adventure Boy is often afraid of loud noises and avoids crowded spaces, although he is getting better about it. On this day, he was just too overwhelmed and lost it.
Meltdowns can be differentiated from tantrums by caregivers who know a child well. When a meltdown occurs, the child is genuinely out of control of him or herself and can’t calm down without help or time/space. It isn’t willful or intentional behavior. These moments, while hard to navigate as a parent, break my heart for Adventure Boy. Imagine the world, or at least portions of it, being such a frightening and overwhelming place that you can’t control yourself any longer. In these instances, our goal is to help him calm down and carry on with his day the best he can.
Tantrums, on the other hand, are typically willful and usually have one of two goals: Getting something the child wants or avoiding something he or she doesn’t want. There is a whole different strategy applied to this type of behavior. My general philosophy is, “The more you fuss, the less you get.” Adventure Boy has learned that this behavior doesn’t get him much, so he does it less. It does still raise its self from time to time, but with less intensity and duration.
More next time on calming strategies!
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